Intro to the Playgroup

I speak often, and fondly, of our playgroup, and words that commonly come up in describing it are sanity, support and social time.

After Colin was born, I saw the world and my new role in it through a pair of Baby Blues-colored glasses. I remember crying a lot…over nothing and everything. I wasn’t able to drive for about two weeks, so I also was into a pretty deep case of cabin fever, when the thought of going out was more scary than being stuck inside.

A coworker of Rob’s suggested that I go to a new mom’s support group that the hospital sponsors. It sounded just grand, but the effort of pulling myself and Colin together enough to go was another story.
Rob helped matters by pretty much pushing us out the door, asking me to “just try it.”

I did, and it was a disaster. There were about ten women and babies there, most of whom were around the 4 to 6 month range. They were dealing with very different issues than I and I didn’t really think this was going to be my thing. They looked at me with what looked like pity and incomprehension as I shared my woes during “check in time,” as if the first month of motherhood was a dim and distant memory compared to their reaching, sitting and *gasp* smiling babies.

I gave it one more shot, going to the group that met on Thursdays. The facilitator was different, and there seemed to be a lot more babies and Mom’s my age. Although Mary was a bit too much into cosleeping and breastfeeding at all costs for my taste, I found myself perfectly happy to be one of the women in the circle sharing nods, sympathetic smiles, and advice with one another.

One of the benefits of this group is that Mary puts moms into smaller playgroups, and leaves it up to them to make what they will of the group.

Luck stepped in and I ended up with a great group of women and babies. Over the months we went through the typical stages of group dynamics (forming, storming, norming and performing for those interested) and the moms that didn’t quite jive drifted off. A few new additions joined in and our group pretty much stabilized into what it is today.

There are six of us with boys that were born within a two month range. Caroline and Ronan, Lori and Carter, Jessica and Alex, Jennifer and Kaden, Shelley and Tyler, and Me and Colin.

I think a few keys to our successful group is that we all have fairly similar life and parenting styles. And rather than playing the one-up game that seems to be endemic among the playground set, we celebrate the boys milestones and achievements, and lend support if there is a concern. A commonly heard phrase is “me too…” That phrase, and the realization that “I’m not the only one” is a soothing balm to a first time mom.

We take a girls night out once a month, and leave the dads to tend to the boys while we gab and drink wine without the powerful jet stream that toddler boys can generate.

I am grateful and fortunate to have built this extended family.