Life is what happens when you are waiting for something to happen. Right? Something like that.
I didn’t get the library job. Aside from being very disappointed after a four-month interview process, and after putting the best of my best on display, and after being pretty dang sure I had this in the bag, and after being quite annoyed at being strung along for four months, I have to shrug it off. I’m proud of what I brought to the table, and I think they made a bad choice. And I know that it means there is something better for me out there. I’m also proud of the personal growth I feel I’ve achieved over the last year – instead of obsessing over what I did wrong, or what I could have done different – I had a good cry, had a good bitch session with Rob, and closed the door on the failed opportunity. I wasn’t thrilled to come into work today, but I have a job to come to, which really, is the important thing.
Colin continues to be a mysterious little nugget – careening between sweetie pie and little pygmy devil child at speeds too fast to measure. When he’s feeling good about me he says, (adorable head tilt and all) “I have my good heart on you, mommy!” And when he’s not its, (scowl in situ) “I have my BAD heart on you, mommy!” We try to spend more time with him playing games, or doing crafts and other activities, but there is 80/20 odds that he will walk away in the middle, attention diverted elsewhere, any time we need to explain/teach something to him about what we’re doing.
It’s frustrating, and a little frightening when I try to picture him in a classroom with a teacher who won’t be able/willing to coach him into participating. Then again, I’m pretty sure he’s a completely different child when we’re not around.
So, alright, I'm a little mopey. It's not been a great few weeks with other things going on with friends and family, and I'm hoping the tide will turn soon. I just need to remember to live my life while I'm waiting for my life to happen.
