Does Not Compute

It’s just not sinking in that we have a curious and skillful toddler who is determined and very capable of getting his paws on anything that is not supposed to be touched. In the last week alone we’ve had paint, pills, perfume, water, powder and oil dripped, sprayed, dumped and distributed from one end of the house to the other.

I admit, it’s usually me that leaves something in reach, unlocked or otherwise non-safetyfied. Rob has begrudgingly admitted to leaving tempting jewels of potential messiness lying about for mommy to clean up as well. Our little green machine has been getting a workout.

The problem is that we are running out of high ground, and the high ground keeps getting redefined higher since the boy has a freakishly long reach and is able to scale buildings (desks, couches, chairs and tables) in one stride. We have approximately one square foot of space on the kitchen counters that Colin cannot (as of today, who knows about next week), reach.

At least we aren’t getting too mad at him, since it’s our lack of prevention that is the source of many of Colin’s adventures in mess. Well, he does get a few gentle and nonviolent admonishments to “QUIT TURNING EVERYTHING UPSIDE DOWN! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND GRAVITY YET? GET OFF OF THAT! NO, DON’T DO THAT, no No NOOOOOOOOO! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? SEE, THE CUP IS FULL, NO, IT’S FULL, DON’T TIP IT…GIVE ME THAT YOU LITTLE…”

*sigh*

Note to self: The very cool reusable and earth-saving grocery bags will not fulfill their purpose of reducing your environmental impact if:

1. you forget to put them in your car
2. you forget to put them in your brain until you are at the check out counter
3. you cannot accurately calculate the time it would take for the checker to ring up your stash vs the time it takes to sprint out to your car to grab said bags. Oh, also add in yet another dash back to the car because you leave your purse in there thinking, “I don’t need this just now” and you don’t realize you do actually need that little thing called money to get out of the store until you are back at the checkout, panting and looking like a crack head.